How to Build a Healthy Yawn Routine in Seven Days

Following our popular article on the art of the perfect yawn, many patients have asked for a structured routine. Nibbles Fenwick has designed a seven day plan, which she has tested on herself, and also on a sleeping labrador.

Day one: awareness

Spend the day noticing yawns, especially other cats’. Each time you see one, feel a faint tug in your own jaw. This is known as the “sympathetic gape” and it is the foundation of the programme. Do not attempt to yawn yet. Simply observe.

Day two: the stretch

Begin with a long stretch, front paws forward, back in a gentle curve. This warms the muscles and signals to the world that you are about to do something dramatic. Hold for ten seconds. Look pleased.

Day three: the slow open

Now begin the yawn itself. Open the mouth slowly, as though greeting a very small door. Take care to curl the tongue. A good yawn is not a shout. It is a quiet and elegant sigh.

Day four: the full gape

At this stage you may open as wide as you wish. Show the teeth, the tongue and the roof of the mouth. If anyone in the room looks away, you are doing it right. That is how Dr Calloway earned her reputation.

Day five: the eye squeeze

Add a gentle squeeze of the eyes at the peak of the yawn. This conveys a mixture of surprise and satisfaction. It is often used to end an argument.

Day six: the follow through

Finish the yawn with a small head shake and a lick of the lips. Some advanced practitioners add a blink. A blink is considered a compliment, and should only be used with a friend or a pigeon.

Day seven: performance

On the seventh day, yawn in public. Choose a place with good light and an audience. A kitchen counter is ideal. Allow your gape to unfold and enjoy the reaction. If the human says “Oh, you’re tired”, you have succeeded.

Tips

• Yawn after meals, but never before
• Never yawn in front of a mirror, because it will begin an argument
• If your yawn creates a squeak, you are in good company

Disclaimer

This is not medical advice. If you have real concerns about your real cat, please see a real vet.