Frequently Asked Questions About Our Fillings Service
What is a filling?
A filling is a small amount of material that goes into a gap. At Eyes Elsewhere Dental, the material is typically a sock, a ball of fluff or a pellet of chicken. It is fully removable, and in fact is often removed within the hour.
Is the procedure painful?
We can honestly say that we do not know. Dr Calloway does not look during the procedure, and so we cannot confirm what is happening. Patients report a mild pressure, a slight tickle, and a feeling that someone else is in charge.
How long does it take?
The average filling takes twenty minutes. A filling during which a moth appears takes about three hours, because the moth must be followed. We try to keep appointments flexible for this reason.
Can I eat afterwards?
You can, but we suggest waiting a short time. Most patients wait eleven seconds and then lunge at their bowl. We cannot stop you, and honestly we would not try.
What aftercare is needed?
- Avoid chewing on cables, which you should not be doing anyway
- Do not insert the filling into a toy
- Do not give the filling to a friend
- Return to the practice if you notice anything odd, such as a feeling of fullness in the wrong place
Do you offer sedation?
We offer a mild form of sedation, which is a warm towel, a dim light and the soft sound of Nibbles Fenwick humming. For deeper sedation, we recommend a sunbeam, available from most windows.
What if I am afraid?
Many patients are afraid, and we do not judge. In fact we tend to avoid looking at them altogether, which they find comforting. Our rule is that you may hide behind the curtain for as long as you need, provided you do not unravel it.
Are your fillings guaranteed?
They are guaranteed for as long as nobody pulls them out. Fillings pulled out by a determined paw are not covered under our warranty, which we have not written.
This post is a work of satire. Real fillings are provided by real dentists.
